Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
