I want to make a zoo with you.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
