So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
