..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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