i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
