She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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