I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
