GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
