Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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