remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
