Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
