Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVEâ€
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