you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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