I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
