If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize