Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
