Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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