oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
