Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
