her facebook's as public as her vagina
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
