Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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