the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
