And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Sober January is a disaster.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
