Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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