I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
