also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
