she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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