I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
