; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
