He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
