Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
