Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
