Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
