Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
