areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Its about making memories worth repressing
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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