these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
