I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
