What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i came on her dog
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
