Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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