I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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