Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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