When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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