Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
