i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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