Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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