Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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