I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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