They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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