HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
