i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
