her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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