If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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