Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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