I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
