I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Are we still banned from the library?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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