I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
im on a boat
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