you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
