the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
