At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I want her autograph on my taint
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i think i just lost a toe
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
