You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
