hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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