A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
