Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
